Genshin Frontier Act I: First Attack
Mihoyo Kabushikigaisha and Cuntstantin Films AG proudly (oouso) presents
"Attention all passengers, this vessel will Defold into…"
"Wait… Fold! " Yukari FEGELEIN woke up from her dreams, "I was Folded into here! But why did everyone here can Fold except me? Of course, it’s not like I’ll need Fold ability anyway. "
Definitely, becaused Yukari chan can just fly whenever she can, and this world called Teyvat, is a pretty small one; only ten minutes of flight would meet the invisible wall that stops her from advancing. But currently, Yukari chan just sat on the beach between Strombearer Point and Starsnatch Cliff, enjoying the sunlight probably.
While a certain teleport waypoint not far from her suddenly reacted,
"Who’s there? " Yukari chan transformed her weapon into a sniper rifle and started charging towards the teleport waypoint. A long haired girl with red costume Defolded from it, and a green "friendly" marker showed up on her from Yukari chan’s AR display of her glasses.
"Outrider Amber! Fucking surprised me, almost thought Hilichurls somehow learned how to Fold too. Why are you here outta all places? "
"Didn’t expect to see you here too, Yukari chan. I thought you must be staying with Jean and others for critical missions. "
"Not today, though. They didn’t have missions today, so I had a day off. Why didn’t they bring you into critical missions? "
"You know why, Yukari chan. " Amber looked pretty embarrassed. Yukari chan found the record on her implanted computer. In the last time of the Knights of Favonius’s long range expedition mission, Amber sucked so much that the entire team got rekt and had to retreat, or we say Fold into the headquarters, calling the mission an epic failure. Since then literally no one would ever consider bringing Amber with them, in any mission. "Now only Aether would like to play with me… "
"Who is this Aether guy? I only knew him not belonging to this world too, can use elemental skills without a Vision… "
"And what about you? You can also use elemental skills, right? "
"It’s not precisely elemental skills, anyway. It just looks like I inflicted Pyro status on the enemies, but in fact, that’s the advanced technology you guys might not understand. " Yukari chan detected some Hilichurls somewhere 150 meters away from them, "Found some neat enemies. Wanna fight them off? I might be able to improve your combat readiness, just like how I did to other Knights members, but I need to watch you fight too. My combat analysis system can only be used in combat, you know. "
"Alright, let’s go! " the duo reached the place detected for Hilichurls, and found three level 91 Hilichurls with one… "Fucking Ruin Hunter? Wait, you only said Hilichurls, right? "
"What, you’re afraid of that machine? Don’t worry, I’ll cover you. " Amber started to throw out her Baron Bunny and aim at the enemies, but her Pyro damage is too little, in Yukari chan’s real time analysis. Yukari chan started analyzing, "Well, Amber’s combat stat… level seems to be fine, weapon seems to be Favonius Warbow and it should… be fine, but wait, what Artifacts are she wearing… hmmm… "
Yukari chan found out where the problem is, Amber’s Artifacts are not right for a Pyro character like her, "Four sets of Brave Heart, un-upgraded… No wonder she can’t output much damage. Amber! Try This! " Yukari chan threw out four Wanderer’s Troupe Artifacts with HP/ATK/ATK/Pyro DMG and a random Critical Rate "hat" into Amber, "Equip them and it should let you show your true strength! "
"Wait, shouldn’t Artifacts only be able to change outta combats? "
"Who the fuck says that? You can do it in battle, just try it! " After dodging an enemy, Amber opened the Artifact slots on her arm, pulled all her old Artifacts out and inserted the new set of Artifacts Yukari chan gave her into it and performed a charged shot onto the dodged enemy. After receiving a 15000 critical damage, the poor Hilichurl just disappeared.
"Yes, it works! Of course not as powerful as Diluc that I also instructed, but now, you restored your real power! At least for a bit. Now, a fucking Ruin Hunter remaining. " Yukari chan rushed to the cliff of a mountain, and jumped from it, "Takeoff! "
Yukari chan spreaded the wings of her variable armor and started flying, and while Ruin Hunter detected a flying object in midair, it turned into Bombardment Mode and exposed its weakness. "Not gonna happen! " Amber aimed at its weakness and shot it down with an aimed shot.
"Good, looks like I don’t need to do that in midair. Imada! Finish it off! "
Amber used her Elemental Burst to summon a lotta fiery arrows at the downed Ruin Hunter, and Yukari chan felt her elemental energy also went full, due to the elemental resonance between Pyro characters. "Happenly my Elemental Burst was also ready… Fire it off! "
Throwing out her guns, Yukari chan opened all of the missile pods on her Armor, targeted all over the Ruin Hunter, and fired them at once. High Explosive missiles hit the Ruin Hunter one after another, making it disappear in a giant arse explosion.
"Wow, I never saw Yukari chan fight! I knew you’re the Knights’ famous instructor, but never know that your combat ability is also supreme! " Amber lauded while Yukari chan landed vertically, "But where did you get these powerful Artifacts? "
"If you stay in this shithole for half a year, you will one way or another get a lotta Artifacts. It’s just… most of them have shit stats, only like one in 100 has usable stats. Let’s just say… the World Creator is a lame arse fucking cunt. "
Yukari chan and Amber walked while they reached another cliff. There are some Hilichurls lying below, with a Cryo Abyss Mage. Amber suddenly smashed her Baron Bunny to them, shouting "I will have order! ", while the Baron Bunny exploded on impact, blastin’ them off, leaving them to burn in pain.
"Wow, is that the famous line of Zhongli, the retired Geo Archon? "
"How do you know he’s the retired Geo Archon? "
"I guess everyone in Teyvat knows that, right? Only Zhongli himself didn’t know that his little fake death trick actually won’t work, and everyone just pretends to eat his shit due to respect. Besides, in the initial Iterations his combat ability was hugely nerfed, that even I didn’t know how to equip him properly. Is that some kinda punishment for his retirement or what? Only in the third Iteration Zhongli’s stats are finally ‘corrected’ and I managed to find out a set of Artifacts for him. Now, he’s the core teammate of Liyue's long range expedition team. "
"I see… Sometimes I really feel that the World Creator was too harsh on him. Why not let him retire anyway? He’s serving long enough, and should let people in Liyue take over instead. And you actually instructed Zhongli as well? "
"Yes, just like Mondstadt, Liyue authorities also hired me to instruct them on combat. After his retirement as Archon, Zhongli was also occasionally seen on Liyue’s expedition missions, because of his shield abilities. For some reasons Liyue prefers Geo characters a lot. Even Noelle and Albedo are currently training with them. "
As they were talking about Zhongli, Yukari chan and Amber heard someone singing a song…
Aimo aimo
Ne-deru ru-she
Noina miria
Enderu purodea
Fotomi
Koko wa attaka na umi da yo
"Is that… Barbara chan? The famous Mondstadt songstress? "
"Barbara chan! " Amber gilded there and met Barabara in the giant Status of the Seven. Suddenly multiple Fold signatures appeared, while a bunch of unknown monsters Defolded into there.
"What? " Yukari chan started flying from the cliff, and switched her guns into Intelligent mode and shot at them. "Why didn’t it deal much damage? Wait, Pyro resistance 95%? SHIT! We got troubles here! Call the headquarters! "
"Alright! " Amber took out her flare gun from the pocket, and fired a red flare into the sky. The monsters started to counterattack and caused damage on Yukari chan.
"Oh no! I’ll heal you! " Barbara used her Elemental Skill and perform Hydro attack on the monsters. Yukari chan noticed that the monsters didn’t have much Hydro resistance, and she came out with a new battle plan. "Here, Barbara chan! Replace your artifacts with these! " she threw out four Wanderer’s Troupe Artifacts with HP/ATK/ATK/Hydro DMG and one other Artifact with Critical Rate.
"Why are you giving me Artifacts with no HP bonus, Yukari chan? " Barbara asked in doubt.
"Because… Now we need you to fight them off! Pyro won’t work on them, but Hydro might work a bit! "
"Alright! " Barbara opened her Artifact slot and replaced them with Wanderer’s Troupes. "Wow, I didn’t know you have so much Wanderer’s Troupe Artifacts. And what would we do right now? "
"Keep shooting! Barbara chan’s Hydro attack required Pyro status on the enemies to trigger Melt elemental reactions that will double the damage plus Elemental Mastery. Wait… " Yukari chan replaced her Artifacts into four Instructors, and switched her missiles into Incendiary ones, "Now time for.. Maximum Pyro Strength! "
After Barbara caused all monsters to get Wet, Yukari chan shot all her missiles into them, triggered the effect of the Instructor four-set and increased everyone’s Elemental Mastery by 120, and caused them to have long lasting Pyro on them. Yukari chan can see Barbara’s Elemental Mastery reached almost 300. Barbara hit them with all her might, and dealt a lotta damage.
"Impressive, but still not enough. Where the actual fuck is our reinforcements? "
"It’s a giant arse Statue of the Seven right? Isn’t it a valid Fold point? "
"Wait, I knew why. It’s jammed, for some reasons. Guess I’ll have to find a place away from here, and set up an artificial teleport waypoint so they can Fold into there. Amber, you know what to do. Instructor set! " Yukari chan threw her Instructor set to Amebr.
"I know! Provide Barbara chan with Pyro and Elemental Mastery right? You go ahead, and be quick! "
"Takeoff! " Yukari chan jumped from the statue and started flying, distracting some of these monsters. After flying outta the battlefield for like 200 meters, Yukari chan felt that it’s suitable to set up an artificial teleport waypoint without jamming, and did that. Seconds later, it reacted and Jean and Diona Defolded from there.
"Sorry we’re late, we might know the place where the distress call is, it’s right under a Statue but we can’t Fold into there, no matter how hard we try. "
"Doesn’t matter, it’s jammed anyway. So where the hell is Venti? "
"He’s probably drunk as hell in Diluc’s tavern. "
"Fuck! Whatever, you’re an Anemo character too, Jean chan. Equip these Viridescent Venerers, we need to decrease these monster’s 95% Pyro resistance by 40%, it’s still not much but at least I can deal some damage. And Diona, you need to equip Instructor four-set, these one are currently on Amber. "
"Amber? Is she capable of fighting any serious enemy? "
"She’s not weak right now. After my instructions. No time to explain, we need to arrive there asap. "
Yukari chan, Jean and Diona reached the battle scene, where Barbara and Amber are still fighting these unknown monsters. "Here comes the cavalry! Now we’ll take over from here, it’s Cryo and Pyro elemental reaction now, Barbara chan, have some rest. You know what to do, everyone? Time to finish them all! "
Yukari chan switched her guns into Intelligent mode with Incendiary bullets, and shot until every one of the enemies has been inflicted with Pyro. Jean used her Elemental Burst to all of them and Yukari chan can see their Pyro resistance decreased, "Of course, if it was Sucrose chan it would be much better, but probably she might be with Albedo right now. " Diona threw out her Signature Mix, causing an elemental reaction and everyone increased Elemental Mastery by 120. "Imada! " Yukari chan opened all her missile pods and fired all her High Explosive missiles onto the Cyro inflicted enemies, finishing them all off.
"Congrats everyone, the battle concluded. Now let’s Fold back to the headquarters. And for you, Yukari chan, since you can’t Fold for some reasons, you might need to fly back. We need everyone to gather, and yes, everyone in the Knights. Our next long range expedition will start pretty soon, and this time it’s bigger than any one of our previous expeditions. "
After everyone Folded outta there, Yukari chan started to fly back to the Knights of Favonius headquarters.
plays Frontier 2059 but every note was replaced with Paimon’s annoying moans
"Teyvat. A strange world. Everything in here seems to be confined to the hakushin medieval looks. But, these elements, Visions, Gnosises, these Artifacts, the ability to synthesize any wired thing via Alchemy, and definitely the ability to Fold to every teleport waypoint in real time, they’re all definitely state of the art technologies. Compared to them, my gears are nothing but a modern technology product that will be broken at any time. "
"What AM I? Why and How do I end up here? Where am I from, exactly? What is the nature of this place? The more I interact with and help these natives, the more I can get to know these answers. Now the Knights of Favonius is planning for their next long range expedition, and this time it’s so big that even Liyue parties will also be thrown in. "
At the Knights of Favonius headquarters, Jean showed a graph of battle plans: "The place we’re going this time is filled with whatever now called ‘Fold Faults’, just like what we encountered today, that will not allow us to Fold into. Albedo? "
"Yes, Master Jean. Our research team developed a gadget called ‘Fold Fault Detector’, and using this, our kawaii Yukari chan can go there with her flying equipment, detect an area without Fold Fault, and set up an artificial teleport waypoint there, so we can all Fold in. "
"And then we will advance in teams. The first one to advance would be me, Sucrose and Diona, to provide support for Yukari chan. The others will follow, and someone will need to bring that giant arse Guizhong Cannon that the Liyue Advanced Alchemy Agency recently authorized us to manufacture in. "
"Why not let everyone all Fold into the waypoint at once? "
"You know Fold channel has capacity limits, right? And we got support from Liyue Quxing, they said they can dispatch some of their elite combatants to support us, but they also said they might be late. So we still had to prepare to do this with our people only. "
"Alright everyone, the battle plan is set. Now we’ll wait for Yukari chan to fly back, and we will dispatch right away. "
Genshin Frontier Act II: MEGAROAD-514
Meanwhile Yukari chan already reached Mondstadt, and was entering the Knights headquarters. Barbara suddenly called her, "Yukari senpai! Do you have a minute? "
"What? Do they actually enlist you into the long range expedition too? Shouldn’t they dispatch the astrologist Mona as their Hydro output? "
"No, my sister didn’t want me to get involved in all these. "
"Wait… Jean chan is your sister? I didn’t remember she had any sister or family members present… "
"Actually I’m only her adopted sister. I didn’t remember anything before meeting Jean’s family. "
"Probably just like me… So what’s your business here, Barbara chan? I need to attend their expedition asap. "
"Do you see the Celestia island atop the sky? I wanna see what they have in there, and can you help me? "
"Probably… I mean I can just literally fly you there, but I don’t think my stamina can let me fly that high. Wait, I had an idea, I know how to make foods that let your or my stamina consumption be reduced to zero. It’s pretty useful for you by the way, since your damage output requires charged attack, and your charged attack uses too much stamina. "
"Alright, let’s go to Good Hunter, there’s a stove table to cook. "
And when they arrived at Good Hunter, they saw Xiangling using the stove table right now. For Barbara she looks like Wanmin Restaurant’s Head Chef and is not surprised to cook meals in any suitable places, but for Yukari chan, she’s the main Pyro output of Liyue’s long range expedition team. Besides, she didn’t see Xiangling for a long while, especially since they almost switched to all-Geo teams.
"Hey, chef! We’re planning to make some meals, and might need your suggestions. By the way, haven't seen you in Liyue’s expedition team for a long while. What happened? "
"They had Hutao right now, and as a Pyro polearm user, she’s much more powerful than me. So I’m kinda relieved from expedition jobs, and have more time to research new cooking recipes. "
"That’s pretty good, at least better than risking lifes in unknown expeditions. And I had a good message for you. I know a way to add any food with a secret addition that will reduce your stamina consumption to zero, for five minutes. Wanna try it? "
"Why not? You can straightly add your things into my new cuisines, and try out! " Yukari chan added her addition to Xiangling’s newly made meals, "And… Wow, it looks like I had infinite stamina right now! Any chance to share the recipe? "
"I wish I could, but I didn’t know the recipe for it either, just… when I feel like putting them in food, it would magically appear on them, sorry. " Yukari chan and Barbara also tasted Xiangling’s meals, "First class cuisine from the internationally recognized master chief, very good… Now we can fly to the Celestia island in no sweat. "
"Celestia? I’ve heard that when people become archons, they will be able to ascend to there… "
"And we’re gonna go there without becoming archons anyway, wish us luck. " With Barbara on her back, Yukari chan already initiated vertical takeoff. Normally vertical takeoff would cost her a lotta stamina, that she will never do that except emergency. But now they were flying without any drop in stamina, and soon reached the outskirts of the Celestia island.
Suddenly the island grew red, and a sound started to echo around: "Access to the Administration Area Denied. " while missiles started to shoot at them.
"The fuck? " Yukari chan dodged the missiles and reached a safer area. "It looks like we didn’t have the proper things for it to grant us access. Would this thing be Gnosis? It’s not like we can borrow them from either Venti or Zhongli, since they’re both retired. What about the Futui? No, I don’t think they will give us either, no matter how much Mora we spent. Guess what, I’ll get in no matter what. Barbara chan, sing Aimo. "
"What? "
"Did you remember every time you sing Aimo, a lotta monsters would Fold into the locations near you? And I don’t think they need a teleport waypoint to do that, so if you sing Aimo near the Celestia island, these monsters would appear there, and cause the island’s automated defense system a huge arse trouble. Imagine these brainless monsters accidentally shot a Cyro beam on the island’s defense system… "
"And then you blow them out with Melt elemental reactions that double the damage? "
"Plus Elemental Mastery bonus, by the way. Guess time to switch to Crimson Witch of Flame/ Wanderer's Troupe then. " Yukari chan switched her Artifacts, and started to approach the Celestia island again. "Let’s do it, Barbara chan. "
"Okay. Aimo aimo Ne-deru ru-she… " While Barbara sings Aimo, multiple Fold signatures appeared and a lotta monsters were Defolded outta there. The island’s automated defense system started to attack them and the monsters were attracted and started to attack these automated turrets. "Get outta the battlefield, quick! " Yukari chan did a quick dive and left in a safer distance, "Let’s see which one of them wins, besides, if unfortunately the island wins, you can just sing Aimo again and we can repeat this crap. "
As the battle between the monsters and the island’s automated turrets in progress, Yukari chan detected a big arse turret inflicted with strong Cyro, "Thank RNG Archon, they dispatched Cyro monsters this time. Imada! " Yukari chan opened all her missile pods and launched all her high explosive missiles onto the Cyro inflicted turret, blasting it off and leaving a hole into the island. "Now it’s our chance to get in! Just let time fight outside as they might please. "
Yukari chan and Barbara quickly dive in the hole that the destroyed turret left and went inside the Celestia island. Its interiors look unlike anything in Teyvat, it’s full of modern looking machines and robots, of course, hostile robots. While Yukari chan destroyed them one by one, they didn’t simply vanish like all of the enemies in Teyvat do, they just exploded, leaving debris everywhere.
The duo found an elevator saying "Elevator to Bridge", and they decided to take it, because it looks like it’s the elevator all the way up.
"Barbara chan… You said you’re not the real relative of Jean chan, well, I mean Master Jean, so I suppose you didn’t belong to this world either, just like me. So do you know these robots? Did you see how they explode like this? "
"Nope… "
"Perhaps even in your early life you don’t need to do battles like I do. Now I remembered some of my own life. Yes, It’s what the real world looks like. At least in my early life I seem to beat these things using whatever armor I’m wearing right now. "
"You mean Teyvat, or whatever the world below the Celestia island… isn’t real? "
"Probably… Remember the same bunch of monsters we defeated earlier? When they were defeated, they didn’t vanish either, they also exploded, so I suppose they didn’t belong to Teyvat either, and probably I even rekt some of them before I came to this world. Now, more like we’re gonna get known of this place. "
The elevator arrived at top, and when they went out, they saw the "bridge" with all kinda electronics, with the deep dark background of the cosmos, "‘Rumor has it that people who've ascended to Celestia have also witnessed the same helix-shaped divine ladder that can be seen within Visions. Venturing out into the universe and down into the abyss are the same in that both are braving the dark unknown. ’ Now I know the real meaning of this phrase. "
"Nope. Did you see the texts below the windows outside? "
"What did it write? I didn’t recognize these texts. "
"Hmmm…. You didn’t recognize? It’s MEGAROAD-514. One of my speculations were right, we did live in a giant arse spaceship. And at the size of it, you know what? If I read the MEGAROAD Project right, you know what, Barbara chan, or everyone else in ‘Teyvat’: Inazuma doesn’t exist. The other regions or nations other than Mondstadt and Liyue doesn’t fucking exist at all. Whoever claimed such places exist just wanna trick your sorry arses outta some unknown intentions. This spaceship just couldn’t contain that much space. Unless someone magically makes an Island 2 just like Macross 25 do. "
"Spaceship? "
"Let me show you some ‘magic’. " Yukari chan switched some buttons on the control panel, the giant arse metal shell writing MEGAROAD-514 "opened", showing the land of Teyvat below. "You can even see the Barbatos statue in Mondstadt here. Would that make you remember more of your past? "
"Still nope… "
"Strange, because I remembered them all. I’m actually a member of the 114th Long Range Expedition Fleet, of course codenamed MEGAROAD-114. After the last battle with the giant alien race that I didn’t know their name again 60 years ago, humanity started to build and send out Long Range Expedition Fleets that were kilometers in sizes and millions of people onboard all over the galaxy, looking for suitable planets to live. But for this MEGAROAD-514, or you say ‘Teyvat’, I didn’t know the purpose of it, it didn’t have many people, and all of it except this administration island looks like a medieval theme park. If it was a Research Fleet, what is it researching? "
Yukari chan was looking for more intels from the control panel, "Wait, what is this? Zhongli battle stats? Yes, it did change by the third Iteration, but who controls these Iterations? And wait what, there’s an Iteration 5 in plan? The current Iteration is 4, right? I’m gonna download these things into my implanted computer, and see what actually changed. "
Yukari chan pulled a cable from her armor, and inserted it into the control room’s mainframe and started downloading. After she finished downloading all of the Iteration 5 data, suddenly another person appeared, "Well, well, Yukari FEGELEIN. You finally come here, don’t you think you’re a little bit too late? "
"Aether? I knew you’re not the people of this world, or this spaceship. Where the fuck are you coming from? "
"117th Research Fleet, ring any bell? "
"Wasn't the 117th Research Fleet totally destroyed due to a Fold Fault, and with totally no survivors? "
"These fucking NUNS scumbags only know how to deceive people. We were destroyed by an alien race called Vajra, the fact that NUNS will never let anyone know. And yes, the same kinda monsters you try to throw at the Celestia island’s defense system. I can’t believe you would let Vajra Fold into this place, outta all the antics you could pull. "
"What, would they be hindering whatever the grand plan you have or what? They’re the perfect target practice material anyway. Besides, what’s your role in this place? You sound more and more like you own this place. "
"I’m the overseer of this… amusement spaceship. And your antics of calling Vajra into this place has greatly interfered with my works. "
"Amusement spaceship? To amuse who? "
"Audiences of all over the galaxy, you moron! There are cameras all over this place, people would LOVE to watch how these hakushin medieval dramas with magic go everyday! It’s like a giant arse reality show, but with more reality than show! "
"You mean whoever I met these years, including you, are all fucking professional actors? You gotta be fucking kidding me. "
"Of course not. This place would be no fun if people are just acting. No, they do believe they’re the medieval people they’re perceived to be, and act upon it. You know, the magic and whatever you have noticed, is the result of highly advanced technologies of several research fleets that your home fleet didn’t even notice of. Your equipment can cause so called Pyro damage, just because its damage looks like the simulations we ran on Pyro damage. And the first bunch of inhabitants of this spaceship were poor, deprived nobody from other fleets, hired to act like medieval characters for the rest of their lives, so even if they were acting, their children and grandchildren and so on will start to believe all of the world around them are 100% real. And they formed the royal families of these so called Mondstadt Knights, and Liyue Quxing, and whatever cuties you would like to ‘instruct’. "
"That’s really beyond my imaginations… If whatever you said about that was true. "
"It’s actually beyond my imagination, that you, who didn’t even know how to Fold, ended up here. Let me guess… Vajra! It must be Vajra’s antics, they’re species across the galaxy, and can Fold into wherever they like, and we all know that they can follow Barbara whenever she sings Aimo, right? That’s why the 117th Research Fleet was destroyed anyway. Probably you were fighting one of these Vajra and then Folded with them by accident, and when they Defold their arses to Barbara, you ended up here. "
"You seem to know a lot about Barbara, right? "
"Yes, and to your surprise, I’m actually her real brother, we’re both the members onboard the 117th Research Fleet. Last time she sang Aimo, attracted a lotta Vajra Defolded into our fleet’s secret locations, and our fleet was fucked. But Aimo is actually a really old song, said to be older even when our head researcher Dr. Mao Nome was still loving the same man her sister’s loving. "
"A fleet full of researchers, good… Now, Fold me back into my home fleet, Dr. Aether! "
"Not gonna happen. Unlike Vajra, we humans need a spaceship, at least a VF scale one, to do Space Fold. And it's an amusement spaceship, how could we have a VF in the first place? Besides you bring Barbara outta all people here, and manipulate her to attract Vajra, it’s already pretty unforgivable. "
"It’s actually Barbara who asked me to send her here. Otherwise, I might just join the Knights on their expedition missions instead. Strangely, why did they not invite you for a long time… "
"You can go play their stupid arse expedition missions all you like. You know why these missions are called ‘long ranged’ expedition missions, even if there’s no ‘range’ in this amusement spaceship? It’s just the tradition of us, the members of the so called long range expedition fleets, the space wanderers, who’s exiled from Earth, while Earthlings are probably enjoying their happy and comfortable life, enjoying all the resources from all over the galaxy, we risked all our lives to fight whatever the shit alien races we met. But it doesn’t matter anymore, now that you know all of the things, especially the 117th fleet, I cannot let you get outta here alive. Prepare to be blown away! "
Aether used his Elemental Burst to form a giant arse tornado towards Yukari chan. "Wow, so that’s the real strength behind the variable five-star character, who’s always been seen as a four-star one. But… I’ll never concede! " Yukari chan opened all her missile slots and smashed random missiles towards Aether, but all of them were intentionally missed. While Aether was in confusion, Yukari chan started one of the escape pods and was ejected from the Celestia island to the land below.
"Shit… just let her escape like that… " Aether received a call from someone else, "You know the Operation Reset is started, right? What are you waiting for? Hurry up and Fold your sorry arse to the designated locations! The Fold Fault area would be started pretty soon! "
"Wait, mein Master, we had that Yukari FEGELEIN infiltrated into the Administration building several minutes ago. "
"And you dealt with her? "
"Nope, she escaped. "
"Was soll das heißen, Sie können FEGELEIN nicht finden?! Dann suchen Sie ihn! Ich will FEGELEIN sehen! Sofort!! Wenn er sich ohne Befehl entfernt hat, ist das Fahnenflucht! Verrat! Bringen Sie mir FEGELEIN, FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN!! FEGELEIN!!! "
"What does that mean, that you can't defeat FEGELEIN?! I look down upon you! I want this FEGELEIN dead, at once! If she left without a scratch, it’s a shame on your arse! Bring me that goddamned FEGELEIN, FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN!! FEGELEIN!!! "
"Don’t worry, she will appear in our locations anyway, just like any combatants of this spaceship. We will eliminate all of them in one sweep. "
"Fine… After all these things are finished, we can guarantee you and your sister’s safety and grant you permits to live in any fleet or human planet of your choice. Besides, is Barbara within your reach? "
"What would you need Barbara for? "
"Just Fold her arse there too, goddammit! Explain later! "
After he finished his Fold communications, the alarm started to broadcast across the bridge, "Caution. Hull Breach detected. Air pressure is decreasing. " Aether rushed to the control terminal, "Have the battle accidentally breached some of the spaceship? I gotta start the automated repair system, before it's too late. "
Genshin Frontier Act III: Der Paimongang
While Yukari chan was descending from the Celestia, she felt the atmosphere suddenly become as cold as what's in Dragonspine. "Now I remembered. Hull Breached. In a MEGAROAD spaceship, when the hull was breached, the air won't run away too soon, but it would cool down due to contact with absolutely zero astrospace outside. "
"So would that explain whatever happened in Dragonspine? No, I don't think any spaceship designer would be stupid enough to expose some of the area on their ship open just to make an artificial snow mountain. "
For some reason Yukari chan wanna listen to some new songs. Of course there are some background music in this world that can be chosen to listen to via Fold wave, but staying in here for half of a year would make any music boring as hell. So Yukari chan chose to "shut down" these music, and used her own music instead.
She searched the music from her own music library on her implanted computer, and found a music from "Sheryl Nome’s Best Hits", Yousei, and played it. As a member of a certain fleet, of course Yukari chan knows the greatest Anime hit of all times, Macrosss Frontier, the story of the intergalactic songstresses Ranka Lee and Sheryl Nome, or probably more than that.
"Wait… Ranka Lee was also on that 117th Research Fleet, is that the same fleet Aether and Barbara chan was also staying? That basically means whatever Ranka and her brother Brera Sterne said about they’re the sole survivors are not right to some degree, and… Was my history book too old for that? "
Suddenly she received Jean’s calls via Fold wave, "Where are you, Yukari chan? We’re waiting for you for hours! "
Even in a medieval amusement park like Teyvat, everyone seems to master Fold related antics, like the ability to speak to someone else over long distances without any phone or such. Probably it’s something happened after the incidents of Macross Frontier, where people finally cracked Vajra’s secrets of individual Fold antics.
"Somewhere midair. And had a fight with Aether. " Yukari chan replied after a lotta thought.
"Aether? Why are you two fighting anyway? And how is he right now? We all didn’t see him for months. "
"He’s pretty fine, showing me the true strength of a variable five-star character. Probably he’s even more powerful than Venti right now, because now he seems to get all his Anemo Constellations by unknown means. And because he’s not an alcoholic. But… there’s some bad news, Barbara went missing. "
"What? And who did it? "
"It’s hard to explain, but in short: Aether did it. "
"What? Can't believe it. Will have to retrieve her later, I’ll send another one of my teams after. Now focus on the mission. You need to arrive at the site first, and find a place without Fold Fault, and set up an artificial teleport waypoint there. "
"How do I know if there is Fold Fault anyway? "
"Don’t worry, Albedo made a gadget just for you to detect Fold Fault. And you need to pick up his Protocol Breacher as well, it’s used to blow a giant arse hole in the Spiral Abyss Floor 12. "
"The destination was right below the Abyss? "
"Yes, you’re right. And it seems that you can pass Spiral Abyss floor 12 just like playing, and they will suspect nothing if you just enter right into the floor and pretend to do a rechallenge. "
"But the Spiral Abyss rule forbids me to use… "
"Don’t worry, the Protocol Breacher was designed as a Catalyst, so you can just use it in there, pass the two rooms before 12-3 Second Floor, and suddenly breach the floor of 12-3, and get inside. Once inside you’re free to do whatever you can. "
"Wow, so by breaching the Abyss, you’re not afraid of the Celestia descending Divine Punishments to you and all the mortals in all of Teyvat? "
"No, now we don’t give a flying fuck about the Celestia. We and our Liyue comrades, and all of the people in Teyvat have had enough with their endless antics. By breaching their shitty arse Abyss, and causing a shitstorm inside whatever below it, even though this long range expedition didn’t have any rewards anyway, we will show these greedy arseholes, the strength of the human race! "
"JAJAJAJAJA! Now let’s get these gadgets, where did you put them anyway? "
"In Albedo's Campsite in Dragonspine. "
"Dragonspine? That cold arse mountain? That’s the ultimate bruh moment, you know in the last combat my gears were kinda damaged. By the way, ask Albedo to produce one of my Armor with his magic, I don’t think current one will sustain much longer. "
"Alright. He will make you a replacement armor when arrived. And good luck! " After finishing talking with Jean via Fold wave, Yukari chan flew towards Dragonspine to gain Albedo’s gadgets. And she saw Kaeya and Diona fighting a bunch of enemies not far from Albedo's Campsite. "The fuck? Why two Cyro characters in Dragonspine anyway? I gotta help. " In Yukari chan’s analysis, the enemies had pretty high Cyro resistance, and these two didn’t do effective damages against them.
Yukari chan greeted the duo below, "How are you two Cyro ended up adventures in Dragonspine alone? Why didn’t you find a Pyro character with you? Where’s Amber, then? "
"The all known Pyro characters are all prepared for the upcoming long range expedition. "
"Even Amber? "
"Nah, she’s probably going alone, scouting for Hilichurls or such. I guess no one loves a weak Pyro character. "
"But I enhanced her hours ago, it’s pretty unfair to say to her like that. Anyway, you kinda need my help. " Yukari chan did a SDW LOCK ON to the strange Cyro object, breaking it off, and then switched her SDW into Incendiary bullets and shot them until they’re all inflicted with strong Pyro.
"You know what to do! Do Cyro on them with whatever you can! " The duo below used all their Cyro skills and Yukari chan can feel her Elemental Mastery rising. "Now I forgot that you still had these Instructor sets. Good, my time. " Yukari chan opened all her missile pods, aimed at them and fired them all, finishing them all off, and descended.
"By the way, what are you doing here, Yukari chan? "
"Looking for some mission required gadgets in Albedo's Campsite. And I suggest you two better call Amber right now. See there? The teleport waypoint right there, call her in. Seriously, you need a Pyro character. "
Yukari chan found all the gadgets and the hakushin Catalyst in Albedo's Campsite, and said farewell to them, "Gotta carry on the most important part: Breach the Abyss. Take care of yourself, and happy mining! " while Amber Defolded from the waypoint after Yukari chan’s departure.
Genshin Frontier Act 3.5 (Oouso): Der Paimongang Part 2
At the Musk Reek, Spiral Abyss entry point
"Hi, Fischl chan! Are you coming to the Abyss too, just like me? "
"Yes, The Adventurer's Guild sent me to support you in the upcoming Abyss battles. "
"Wow, you’re healed from Chuunibyou, Fischl chan. And your help is pretty useful, since 12-2 was full of Pyro enemies, and all of the Anemo characters are either too busy helping me, or were already dispatched on other missions. Let’s hope that your Oz can follow my rate of fire. "
"I didn’t expect to fight along with the legendary instructor Yukari FEGELEIN one day. Any Artifacts instructions, Yukari chan? "
"Your current ones are pretty fine. Do not need to change anyway. The purpose of the constant Overload elemental reactions is to make the Futui Agents hard to stay invisible, and once he’s visible and stays downed by explosions caused by Overload, his Pyro resistance might be decreased into an acceptable level, allowing me to finish them off. Now let’s head into the Abyss. As the ninth champion of the single player Abyss speedrun contest, they will just let me and whoever I would like to bring right in, no more questions asked. "
And they arrived at the stage of the Abyss Floor 12, while a host or such welcomed them, "Welcome to the Spiral Abyss Speedrun Contest this year, Our Ninth time Champion, Yukari FEGELEIN! Your name was already well recognized across the galaxy! And you brought a teammate, not gonna solo through the Abyss anymore? Don’t worry, we’ll just double the HP of these enemies for you. And here we also welcome a new songstress to provide some background music, The Teyvat Fairy, Miss Jean Gunnhildr! "
"Jean chan…? What the fuck? "
Jean chan performs Northern Cross
"Whatever… Battle started! " Fischl rushed up to the crowd and summoned her Oz, while Yukari chan checked her gears and did a vertical takeoff.
"Wait… your stamina… It’s not the normal domain where you can… "
"I don’t fucking care about my stamina. Get rekt you arseholes! SDW… Transform! " Yukari chan’s weapon transformed into Intelligent mode and started to shoot the enemies below with a high rate of fire. Oz did his best to match Yukair chan’s bullet rate of fire to shoot them with Electro as well.
"A full Constellations Fischl? Only a full Constellations Fischl’s Oz can shoot that fast… " With the constant Overload reactions, the enemies are totally unable to cast any skills or generate any shields before they’re totally rekt. And then Yukari chan finished them off with a diving attack of SDW LOCK ON. They had beaten the 12-1 and 12-2 almost without efforts.
Meanwhile a team of Diluc and other characters were playing in the first half, because… the deeper Spiral Abyss just requires two teams to participate. Of course Diluc said he’s totally not interested in the Knights’ business, he was coming here only for joys. But who knows.
Yukari chan and Fischl finally reached 12-3, if the Knights’ theories are right, their destination of the long range expedition was just below her feet. "Imada! Let’s blast it off! I mean seriously, fuck the Abyss! "
"Wow, our champion Yukari chan invented a new kinda Elemental Burst! Astonishing! "
Yukari chan charged all her energies into the Protocol Breacher on her hand, and smashed it into the ground. The ground of 12-3 was blasted with a big arse hole, and Yukari chan, Fischl and the monsters were all fallen right into it.
Yukari chan quickly dived in the holes below the Abyss, trying to find out a place without Fold Fault. "Wow, hardly any place without it… how did they do that? And… " Yukari chan finally found a deadzone of the Fold Fault areas. "Yes, that’s the ideal place, done! " Yukari chan flew there and set up an artificial teleport waypoint. Seconds later, the advanced team of Jean, Sucrose and Diona Defolded outta there.
"Is this place… the place we really planned to go? Where is it? "
"It’s the heart of Teyvat, if whatever controlling the Celestia will fight us, they will fight us here. "
"I see… more like the reactor core of MEGAROAD-514. It’s up to no good if they blew up the reactors, but I don’t think the World Creator will let that happen, and they will definitely show up here, so we can piss them off and humiliate them, instead of really breaking the reactors or such. " Yukari chan thonks.
"And where’s Fischl, Yukari chan? "
"She’s probably in midair, right…? And yes, she’s still in midair, grabbing… Oz? Oh that was bullshit. " Yukari chan took off and flew to Fischl to carry her down, sparing an painful Oz. While they’re doing such stunts, a giant statue, probably somewhere 20 meters, of Barbara erected from the ground and started speaking,
"There you are, mortals. Don’t you know that breaching the Abyss violated the Term of Service we agreed on eons ago, that will get all of you eliminated? And we, the Sustainer of Heavenly Principles, will descend the Divine Punishment upon you right away! "
"More like you’re finding excuses, you fucking god playing cunt. Should you wanna really stop us from breaching the Abyss, you can totally temper with the production of Protocol Breacher to make it not work or such. And you didn’t and just let us in, or… even let us in the Celestia island, even without Gnosis. So you’re totally just finding excuses, to do whatever low quality conspiracy you would like to do, and let me repeat, you fucking greedy god playing C-U-N-T! Not to mention your antics of changing the drop rate of useful Artifacts to 1/200, and by simply that I will definitely rip you into 2147483647 pieces, and flush you into a Toilet in Macross Galaxy! Or any toilet in the modern looking Celestia island anyway. "
The Barbara statue looked really pissed off by the word "cunt", with Barbara performing a certain trance version of Do You Remember Love. A huge amount of monsters Defolded here and started attacking the Knights.
"The battle already started… You know what to do, everyone. I will do Pyro infliction first, then Sucrose chan, since you’re pretty new to the team, you’ll need to cast your Elemental Skill non stop, and let me check, four-set of Viridescent Venerers, with the total Elemental Mastery reached 1145, and then Diona… Wait, since when did you obtain all of your Constellations? Now your Cyro Elemental Burst will add 320 instead of 120 Elemental Mastery, that’s… ueber good. And Jean chan, or we say, The Teyvat Fairy? "
"What do you need me to do, Yukari chan? "
"You can occasionally use your Heal Burst, but in most cases, just sing any song you would like to distract these enemies. I guess if they keep listening to Barbara's song, they will be harder to beat anyway. "
"Yukari chan… Watashi no uta o kike!!! "
Jean chan started to perform Northern Cross again
Yukari chan did a vertical takeoff, and started to shoot the enemies below as planned. Suddenly a familiar figure appears, "Aether… "
"The Honorary Knight… What is he doing in there? "
"He’s not Honorary anymore, by conspiring with this so called Sustainer of Heavenly Principles. Let me ‘ask’ him… AETHER! What the fuck are you doing here? Doesn't it look like you failed your duty to protect kawaii Barbara chan, and sacrifice her sorry arse to this fake god? " Yukari chan threw a bunch of missiles into Aether while asking him.
"Shut the FUCK up! " Aether casted a giant arse tornado against Yukari chan, "Barbara chan should be totally fine, and no need to fight herself if the arseholes like you didn’t breach things you shouldn’t breach! Now die, all of you! "
"Wiebitte? That’s the most retarded reason I’ve ever heard in my life when someone ‘decided’ to team with the equally retarded fake god cunt. Do you really think you and Barbara chan can be spared if every other one of us was eliminated? Besides, your giant arse tornado looks just like what these Anemo Samachurls made! Probably your mother was into interricial romance too much, that she boinks a goddamned Samachurl and gave birth to you? "
"Fuck you! Go disappear! " Aether casted one after another giant arse tornado and they’re all dodged by Yukari chan. At this moment almost everyone was watching Yukari chan flying over and over.
"I really don’t understand, what’s her strategy this time? Is verbal insulting another new element? "
"I guess… she would like to piss both Aether and the Sustainer of Heavenly Principles off hard, they will make more mistakes due to rage, and she might be able to find a weakness to exploit. Or probably she just wanna see them pissed off. But you know, this so called Sustainer of Heavenly Principles is much more of a lulz than Aether, because it will react greatly by the word ‘cunt’, almost like a fucking mechanical cunt. Shit! " Hearing Jean saying "cunt" not just once, but twice, the Barbara statue shot two laser beams at Jean, and she dodged them.
"Think one more time, Aether, how much benefit would you have, if you have all your ‘actors’ in your ‘amusement spaceship’ killed, how would the audiences all over the galaxy see this, and rate your character, as the "overseer"? Wouldn’t people of the galaxy start to think you of a clown, serving the fake cunt god? Whatever, looks like you’re deeply mind controlled by this fucking cunt. Sing Aimo, Barbara chan. "
"What’s on your fucking mind, are you fucking crazy? You wanna destroy this place just like the 117th Fleet? Maybe killing all of you is just right. "
"Don’t worry, even if kawaii Barbara chan did summon a Vajra mothership here, I totally believe that our kawaii (oouso) Sustainer of Heavenly Principles cunt can beat it in one single laser shot, much better than what Macross Cannon can do. Right, cunt? I guess now it’s time for me to sing Aimo instead. "
Yukari chan started to perform a modified version of Aimo:
Lyrics redacted due to overflowed profanities
While Yukari chan was throwing out profanities in midair, multiple Fold signatures appeared and a lotta Vajra were Defolding here and attacked everything. "Now I see. Summoning monsters seem not to be Barbara’s special abilities, Besides… A pissed off and perhaps tired Sustainer of Heavenly Principles later met with the infinite amount of unknown monsters, it will pretty soon show some kinda weakness. Let’s just all sing Aimo to summon more of these monsters, and furtherly piss that cunt - Oh shit! dodges - Off. Yes, just remember to perform Dodge when you have to say that word. "
"Understood. Aimo aimo… "
Even more and more Vajra were Defolding outta here, "and at this rate, the Vajra mothership would be summoned in minutes, and this little spaceship would be totally destroyed! No, I have to stop all this! " Aether found a moment where Yukari chan seemed to forget to protect herself, "Disappear, to the end of the galaxy! " and generated a bigger than ever tornado against her.
"Oh shit! " Yukari chan detected an abnormal Anemo stream below her, but it’s too late for her to do anything. The Anemo stream ripped through her armor, causing it to gradually disintegrate, and she can see herself sufferin’ a -60% Pyro resistance. Few seconds in this already transformed into Pyro tornado and she can totally say sayonara to this world. "I wish I could Fold right now… "
Suddenly the artificial teleport waypoint reacted, answering her calls. "Naruhodo. Now I finally knew how to Fold. Time to commit Full Zhongli, and… Eject! "
Yukari chan ejected from her armor and simultaneously her mind was concentrating on the waypoint and she can feel her body instantly away from the giant arse Aneno and Pyro stream that Aether made, leaving her remaining armor exploding in it.
"Oouso… Yukari chan died… How could that be… "
"How could we finish them off with our only Pyro output dead… Retreat! "
"No, the headquarters was filled with Fold Fault! And other safe rooms too! Nope, the entire Teyvat was filled with Fold Fault! "
"What? "
The enemies prepared to charge and perform the finishing blow, while suddenly the artificial teleport waypoint reacted, and a giant beam was shot from there, finishing off a Ruin Hunter in one single hit. "Time for… RETRIBUTION! " a certain Pyro Phoenix swept forward, clearing all the common enemies on the ground, and burned Aether outta his mind controlling implants too.
Albedo, Venti, Diluc and Bennett Defolded from the waypoint, with Albedo operating the Guizhong Cannon, fully charged.
"Diluc senpai? Isn’t the Knights totally none of your business? " Jean saw Diluc in surprise.
"Now it’s not just the matter of the Knights, or the Liyue Quxing. It’s the matter of all of humanity of Teyvat, to revolt and beat this fake god or whatever for good. Besides, did you know that this artificial teleport waypoint is the only one that can be Folded in all of Teyvat? Even if one of us wanna have some fun, the only fun we could have is right here. Expect more and more people joining your fight. "
"Good news to you all: I’m alive, temporarily. " Yukari chan suddenly broadcasted using Fold wave to all.
"Yukari chan! Where are you! "
"In an undisclosed location, that risks getting known by these fake gods or whatever. But I happen to see in close proximity to the Barbara looking statue, and it’s not Barbara. It’s not Barbara at all! Shoot them with all your might! "
"Aye aye captain! " Albedo locked on the Barbara statue, and fired the fully charged beam into it, dealing 2147483647 damages, making its disguise totally rekt. And the Barbara statue showed its true form: a giant arse flying Paimon robot, that looks just like… Paimon.
"Wow, Paimon? "
"The emergency food mascot? "
"No wonder I didn’t see your annoying little face for months, Paimon. So you planned these shit all alone! " A sober Aether said in anger.
"Not to mention your technique to fake a god is so weak, you know what, Paimon chan? "
"How dare you fucking call me Paimon Chan! These Cuntstantin Films sponsored cloaking devices are so weak! "
"Stop capitalizing chan’s c or I’ll cook you into 2147483647 pieces! And Albedo? Did you bring my armor? Last one was destroyed, and I totally need a new one. Seriously. "
"Right here, Yukari chan. Actually, it’s even improved from your original design. And this one for you too. "
"My last Constellation? Where did you get that from? "
"By synthesis. "
"Oouso? Constellation can be synthesized right now? Like nani za fakku? "
"Explain, Mona. "
Mona Defolded from the waypoint, "F2P Astrology, btw. Added with Mondstadt’s advanced alchemy. You said Inazuma doesn’t exist, right? Soon we can build our own Inazuma from scratch, and probably elect the Electro Archon from Keqing and Lisa for it. Now everyone in everywhere will have full Constellations, and this means of exploiting us, won’t work anymore! "
"Good. Aether? Now that you know Paimon was manipulating you and Barbara all along, would you like to still work for them right now? "
"Never, and I’ll literally make this little shit emergency food after this crap. "
"Very well, now Barbara seems to be trapped inside Paimon’s giant robot body, we might need to find a way to cut it and extract her. But rest assured, we will save her, unscratched. " Yukari chan equipped her armor and test fired a charged Pyro shot onto one of the enemies. "Damages fall in the expectations, good. And… Level Up to LV60? Now I got enough combat data to make this work. "
"Hand me your Artifacts, Aether. I might know a magic of my own to perform, " Yukari chan checked Aether’s Artifacts, and found out now she can indeed just modify the Artifacts’ arbitrary substats to any one she wants. "And done! Now you had almost max Critical Rate / Critical Damage Viridescent Venerers, and would receive about 75% Critical Rate / 220% Critical Damage on your stat, though why would an Anemo character need that high of Critical stats anyway. Time to piss Paimon off, even more. "
"Now everyone is ready, right…? No, not everyone, Barbara was still in Paimon’s mind control. Gotta find a way to free her mind first. Let me try some… Mona? Can you perform your Astrology antics again? I need to connect my mind with Barbara chan and Jean chan? "
"Because only Master Jean could recover her sister outta mind control? "
"Yes, exactly! Just do it! "
Mona used her antics to connect the trio together. In the simulated mental world, Barbara wished to give the fuck up. And Jean bitch slapped her, "BAKA! "
"Didn’t you forget about your dreams, of letting your songs be heard all over Teyvat, and all over the galaxy? Even Yukari chan was actually inspired by your songs! "
And Yukari chan also appeared in their mental world, "Barbara chan, didn’t you once say that you will reach your dreams and never give up? I haven't given up on finding the truth, and I found it. So come on, Barbara chan! And Jean chan! You’re… Both of you are my wings! "
"So… Let’s sing one more time, Barbara chan! "
With Barbara chan fully prepared, all of humanity finally decided to perform full assault against Paimon and her giant arse robot or whatever.
"Takeoff! " After eating a piece of Golden Fried Chicken with her own stamina reduction addition, Yukari chan did a vertical takeoff, signaling the beginning of the assault phase.
Barbara chan and Jean chan sings Nyan-Nyan Special Service Medley
"Bad news for you, Paimon chan. I stole all of your precious Iteration 5 data right from the mainframe of the Celestia island, and used the data to crack the encryption protocol of your shitty arse Artifact chips. Now I can manipulate the sub stats of any Artifact as I want, just like how I can manipulate your very own sorry arse whatever I want, after this is all over and you show up on Good Hunter’s stove table. "
"Hmph! For the last time, Paimon is not emergency food! "
"Wiebitte? "
"Wiebit te nandayo! " While Paimon’s distracted by Yukari chan’s insults, Yukari chan started scanning her robot to find where Barbara was trapped. And she had found a weak door on the robot’s body that can be frozen with a Frozen reaction. "I need this location of the robot Frozen, do me a favor! "
Mona started to use her attacks to make the entire robot get Wet, and Diona aimed at the weak point Yukari chan designated, making the door frozen. "Alright! " Yukari chan fired some of her missiles onto the Frozen door, blasting it off to pieces. And she can see Barbara chan trapped in there.
"Here, Barbara chan! Catch me! " Yukari chan flew to her and took her outta the robot’s body, while the Guizhong Cannon fired after both of them escaped, stopping the Paimon robot from harming them.
"Hmph! Futile! " A pissed off Paimon flew pretty high up, and fired a bunch of laser beams to the ground, almost hitting everyone on the ground. Diona made her shield for everyone, but Yukari chan can calculate that the shield strength of Diona was far less than enough to absorb the damages, and if the damages are dealt, "they’ll be all dead… "
Suddenly, there were two more shields appearing on everyone, and a huge arse Jade Screen also appeared above their head, deducting the incoming damage by 50%. Everyone took a hit, but no one died or even lost too much HP.
"It’s Liyue’s long range expedition team! They finally come to join us! " Zhongli, Ningguang, Hutao and Noelle Defolded outta the waypoint.
"Sorry, we’re pretty late, it’s pretty difficult to Fold in this place full of Fold Faults. What’s the combat situation right now? And isn’t that flying cutie kawaii Yukari chan, our instructor? "
"I saw your arse over there, and you're pretty late actually. But still, thanks for your shields, otherwise we’ll be all dead. And Noelle? Why are you in Liyue’s expedition team? "
"Because they formed an all-Geo team, and that’s the experience I’ve never had. People always say all-Geo team cannot be used for long range expeditions Iterations after Iterations, but we did it too many times, without anyone hurt or dead. "
"And I remembered Jade Screen is… only a screen, why could it be over our head? "
"It’s already upgraded into Jade Dome like months ago, don’t you know? Like the advanced alchemy of Mondstadt, our people in Liyue are also researching advanced alchemy. "
"Good… Currently, I analyzed this giant arse Paimon robot and found several layers, like two, or three? The current layer has pretty high Pyro resistance, even after our best Anemo character Aether’s tornado, its Pyro resistance still couldn’t be reduced into an optimal amount, I mean subzero. I guess it’s time for Hydro characters to be the main DPS, and I’m gonna do sub DPS. Mona? You still remember the ‘Tactical Nuclear Mona’ tactics, right? "
"Yes, it’s a little bit complicated, but I did remember all the steps by heart. "
"And Sucrose chan? Bennett? "
"We knew what to do too! "
"Alright, now I’ll try to shoot this giant arsefuck down! "
"No need. Just let it eat my cannon! " Albedo prepared to fire the fully charged beam, while Paimon found out and destroyed the cannon beforehand. Luckily Albedo Folded into the waypoint and dodged the certain death.
"Not over yet! " Yukari chan found a weakness in the Paimon robot, and fired a charged SDW Precision Shot into it, making it fall to the ground.
"Imada! Tactical Nuclear Mona! "
The songstresses happen to sing "What about my stars? *2" and the rest of Lion
Mona performed Hydro attack on the downed Paimon robot making it Wet, while Sucrose threw out her Anemo creations to apply Swirl reactions, decreased Paimon’s Hydro resistance by 40% and added a roughly 200 Elemental Mastery to everyone, and for some reasons Sucrose’s 5-refined Thrilling Tales of Dragon Slayers had effects on Mona, and then Bennett with four-set Instructor smashed his iconic Like button on the ground, while the final time for Mona’s grand antics come.
"Fate is upon you! " Mona finally used her Elemental Burst to mark an Illusory Bubble on the Paimon robot, and all is set for a Pyro character to trigger the Hydro damage. Yukari chan used her SDW LOCK ON to the Pyro damage to the Paimon robot, triggering Mona’s Illusory Bubble with Vaporize elemental reactions, instantly ripped the Paimon robot’s layer of armor off. Now the Paimon robot only had one layer of armor that’s "pretty weak" to Pyro, it’s finally the time for her, and so many Pyro characters all across Teyvat.
"Why are you still with them, Aether? Isn’t it your wish for them to all be eliminated in the first place? "
The songstresses happen to sing "Ikinokoritai" again
"Now I changed my fucking mind! It’s you, and your sadistic, greedy treatment of Zhongli and other characters, that makes the entire program’s ratings drop like hell, not them! Besides, you manipulated Barbara, one more thing unforgivable! "
Yukari chan issued the final order, "Now for the moment of Melt! " But the Paimon robot rebooted and attempted to rise into the air again. "Not gonna happen! "
Yukari chan switched her SDW into Intelligent mode, shooting Incendiary bullets onto the Paimon robot, and let it fall into the ground again, while Aether used his Elemental Skills to decrease 60% of the Paimon robot’s Pyro resistance. Meanwhile Yukari chan’s Pyro was still on the robot, so Sucrose also threw out her Anemo creations and added everyone with a lotta Elemental Mastery. Diona threw out her Signature Mix to trigger the Instructor four-set’s 120 Elemental Mastery increase, and anyone in the range of her Signature Mix added another 200 of Elemental Mastery. Bennett also smashed the Like button on the ground, added every Pyro DPS on the ground with 1200 of Attack.
"Wait… how do we inflict sustained Cyro status on this robot… "
Ganyu suddenly Defolded from the waypoint, "I feel that you’re calling me, Yukari chan. " Ganyu used her Elemental Burst to summon a Sacred Cryo Pearl upon the Paimon robot to give it sustained Cyro status.
*The songstresses happen to sing "Seiza no michibiki de..." *
"Imada! Final Attack! " All of Pyro DPS characters all across Teyvat stayed in Diona and Bennett’s circles, using all their Elemental Bursts at the same time:
"Time for… RETRIBUTION! "
"Blazing Delight! "
"Cross over! "
"You're toast! "
"Amp it up!"
"No one escapes my sights!"
Aether performed his Elemental Burst to generate a giant arse tornado, mixed with Pyro elements towards the Paimon robot, while Yukari chan used the Anemo stream to take off again, activated her last Constellation, opened all of her missile pods, replaced all of the missiles with the experimental reactionary missiles, finished aiming at the still Cyro inflicted Paimon robot in the blink of an eye thanks to her new model of armor, and fired them all,
"Disappear, to the end of the galaxy! ",
totally blasting the Paimon robot into non existence.
"The Fold Fault had all disappeared! We made it! "
"Can we conclude this thing? Like It’s really concluded and I really wanna conclude it and I’m too tired to conclude something else. Now I can Fold too… "
Yukari chan Folded herself into the Knights’ headquarters. There are more and more people Defolding after her. All of the people Folded into the Knights’ headquarters and then went to Diluc’s small arse tavern to drink.
Genshin Frontier Act IV: Epilogue
Some time after the Yukari FEGELEIN incident in Teyvat, Paimon, I mean Twitter account @Genshinimpact, I mean the annoying mascot of Mihoyo Kabushikigaisha, rants on Twitter:
"Dear Travellers, We have recently received a lot of feedback from Travelers regarding issues with the character Yukari FEGELEIN. Recently, we discovered the breach in our systems. Such behavior not only disrupts our plans to develop and promote the new characters, but also causes some Travelers to have misconceptions about the content of the new characters. Here, we kindly ask for the support and help of all Travelers to resist Yukari FEGELEIN, and maintain a fair gaming environment. We will also increase our efforts to deal with such security breaches and illegal characters, such as banning all players’ accounts playing as her. "
And soon someone replied to her with: "Yukari FEGELEIN was a mod in your leaked 1.5 singleplayer development build, and you basically can’t ban anyone. Get the 2FA implemented before bitching about your own security problems, otherwise, we will plan to DDoS your shitty arse game servers 2147483647 times everyday until you go bankrupt yourselves, you greedy capitalist cunt. ---- Anarchy Intergalactical"
Meanwhile, Cuntstantin Films were busy sending DMCA Takedown Notices to every one of these Genshin Impact gameplay videos containing Yukari FEGELEIN, and to everyone and their meow chans and doggos’ surprise, Youtube did it, they took down these videos and terminated a lotta accounts. Just because they featured Yukari FEGELEIN, and Cuntstantin Films claimed copyright on the word "FEGELEIN".
"What a bunch of clowns, abusing copyright ‘protections’ and their legal teams against individuals, " Aether watched the news via his own AR display glasses, sitting with Yukari chan on the beach between Strombearer Point and Starsnatch Cliff, enjoying the sunlight, "They’re literally worse than Paimon, Yukari chan. "
"Who? "
"The big arse intergalactic ad company faking itself into a hi-tech company. After the intergalactic Fold network became a reality, these clowns resurfaced. But anyway, thanks to this recent technology, this spaceship of reality show, Genshin Impact, becomes possible. "
"You’re pretty sure this area is not on your reality show, right? "
"Don’t worry, I shut down the camera here for a while. By the way, last night’s show was awesome! The rates literally riled up! I guess beating Paimon outta the picture is a much better idea for the show. And that means I finally purchased a VF-25, and if you insist on returning to your home fleet, it’s all yours, and you can use it whatever you like. Or… "
Aether seemed to see through Yukari chan’s doubt, "If you wanna stay here, here’s an offer, work with me as Overseers, Yukari chan. Together we can work the greater things out! Our program was undergoing a huge arse shift. People were tired of watching the same medieval magic reality show years after years, farming Artifacts in one of 100 to 200 probabilities. We all knew that, right? Now they wanna see the program of people advancing in technologies, and become modern and even future humans from medieval times. Macross Frontier is already an inspiring story for all the people in long range fleets fighting the unknowns, expanding humanity to frontier. And the renowned Genshin Impact, will inherit the spirit of humanity expanding through the newer frontiers, not only the ones in space, but also the ones in technology. "
"And I think your shift in focus is happening naturally, either Mondstadt or Liyue are researching advanced alchemy right now, it’s only a matter of time before they’re advanced enough to be considered modern technology. And then they will ascend to the Celestia island, to find out the truth behind their spaceship, and contact with other fleets or such. But right now, they need to evolve and adopt newer technology on their own, like their current project of building their own Inazuma from scratch, and soon the rest of these nations, and elect their own people as Archons, without a greedy so called Sustainer of Heavenly Principles to make for us after ten or even nine Iterations. "
"I never thought you actually had deeper understandings of the program, Yukari chan, just like your understanding in Genshin combat. Wait… An email from Ranka Lee and Sheryl Nome. "
"What? Are they threatening to DMCA us or what? "
"No way, they’re not Cuntstantin Films anyway. They lauded the show last night, especially lauded your usage of their iconic music and Macross Frontier’s most famous line… "
"Both of you are my wings? "
"Exactly. By the way, it’s you who makes Jean and Barbara sing songs in Macross Frontier, right? "
"Right, Even by now I still had their music stored on my implanted computer… At my times with them, I was always imagining Jean chan to be Sheryl Nome, and Barbara chan to be Ranka Lee. "
"Nice try. Half of a year’s repeated Artifact farming would drive anyone crazy, including you and me. We will run on new contents pretty soon, and Ranka and Sheryl said they will license any of their new songs to us exclusively. I guess our program had some new fans! "
"Good to hear… By the way, we all knew Barbara chan had experienced all we had these days, how would you tell her of all these truths? Or whether? "
"What would you do? "
"I didn’t know. Knowing the truth was once my goal, but the truth isn't actually harmful to me. But it won’t work for her. If she knew she’s the cause of the 117th Research Fleet’s demise, I don’t know what she would feel for the rest of her life. "
"Besides… if these NUNS scumbags knew that… They would definitely come here, cause some considerable damages and arrest her, put her on a tribunal, and probably execute her, no question asked. So that’s unacceptable, and I went telling her all these things are nothing but a nightmare. And Barbara seems to accept this, and probably still dreaming to become an idol of Teyvat. That’s probably what we called blissful ignorance. "
"So, how would you stop them from singing Aimo again? "
"I don’t think Vajra is hostile to humans right now. They seem to attack randomly anything if summoned, but probably because no one knows how to effectively communicate with them. Ranka Lee seems to be successful in Frontier once, but these Vajra Folded themselves to somewhere unknown, and these ones appeared here are the new species. Research is still underway, no matter on these research fleets, or here. "
"You mean people in Teyvat were also able to figure this out? "
"Yes, and they probably would go ahead in research. But anyway, when effective communication is reached, we can finally make peace, no deaths due to singing Aimo, and no trials either, and Barbara would be finally ready for the truth. "
"Sounds practicable. Now you ready to work your role as a variable traveller, Aether? Jean chan was expecting you. "
"Alright, I’ll see her in seconds. " Aether Folded himself out, leaving Yukari chan alone.
"I was starting to love this place… But when will we see the end of the galaxy… "
