der krisgang.en.21.07.19

a rough translation of the original one by myself

There are still three days until Cuties Impact updates Inazuma, but at least we had another huge arse lulz these days: A certain Canadian Groupiefucker, Canadian Electric Eel, whatever he's Canadian anyway Kris Wu, or called by another new name he recently gained: Toothpick Wu, finally got rekt on his glorious road of gropie fucking. He thonks his groupie leaders would carefully pick some hakushin virgins who had vaginas narrower than his toothpick sized penis for him, only to unfortunately fuck an ueber unsatisfied groupie, who can compose looooooooooooooooooooog speeches against him on weibo, piss him off and make him rant like Adolf Hitler. After failed hakushin negotiations, our anti-capalism hero (convinced), a certain ex-gruopie and currently a girl of culture, finally revealled all of Toothpick Wu's dirty history for everyone to see:

  • even though as a top celebrity Toothpick Wu can fuck every groupie he wants, his penis is too small and too thin to satisfy them. In our hero's own words, when they had sex "it was like using a finger to pick her nose but got a toothpick instead". I kinda suspect his penis could ever break her hymen, thus the name "Toothpick Wu".

  • And Toothpick Wu can only last for two minutes, even shorter than's actual sex part in its latest videos. Would that be the result of virgin pussy too tight? If a trained vagina smooth muscle master was fucking him instead, would he need only 11451.4 milliseconds to cum?

  • And just like a certain Show Lo, Toothpick Wu also had sex addiction, that's probably why his sexual activity was a global joke. At least our Republic (hakushin) of China citizen Show Lo knows how to do "time management", while Toothpick Wu coulnd't even manage his time inside women's pussy

  • And not just like that, Toothpick Wu was also the host of various sexual transmitted diseases, and likes to cum inside girls' pussies without any protections. It was said that a lotta gropies had already been infected with STD after sex with him.

  • And Toothpick Wu also likes to rape unteraged girls after they're drunk, some says he will invite other men to rape them together, deepthonks

  • And not just that, Toothpick Wu also likes to shit talk other celebrities, like shit talking one of the popular celebrities to have bromhidrosis. Wow, would she think his life is not misable enough right now, even to attact radical fans of that celebrity to make his life more misable? I'm pretty impressed.

  • Toothpick Wu even tried to threaten our girl of culture to stop revealing his shit, even went as far as fabricating a hakushin legal term full of trap to lure her into it, planning to send her into prison instead. Luckily she had lawyer friends, and didn't fall for it. Instead that shitty legal term was seen for everyone, and everyone and their doggos knows Kris Wu, or we say Toothpick Wu is a k-pop yakuza right now.

Yajuu senpai = Kris Wu theory

  • Yajuu senpai reipus his konhai after getting them drunk, Kris Wu also reipus his groupies after getting them drunk

  • Yajuu senpai pretends to love his victims after raping them, Kris Wu also pretends to love his victims after raping them, and his acting skill at this time is even better than when he's in his movies. Let's pay tributes to whatever movie firms hiring him for 114514 Planck times, their billions of salaries spent on him couldn't even be as efficient as virgin pussies.

  • Yajuu senpai says he's a student even when he's 24 years old, and Kris Wu's groupies say he's a juvenile even when he's over 30 years old.

  • Yajuu senpai is a parody materal, and Kris Wu is also a parody materal, for how bad he's singing without autotune, and how bad he's acting without AI faceswap.


Unfortunately I don't think current social moment was enough to send Toothpick Wu into a certain Chinese prison though. Probably our girl of culture did request the police to investigate into his matters, but the result of investigation would most likely be that he didn't commit any crime of rape (Do I need to reminder you guys again that China's age of consent is 13, that he would be nearly impossibe to rape girls under 13? ), or such evidences would already be eradicated by his accomplices or himself, since he had a lotta money and a huge arse team working for him. Hence the persecution of this pedosexual arsehole, or we say "Krisganging", must be divided into two stages:

Krisganging stage 1

The major goals of the first stage Krisganging (and also part of the prerequisites of the second stage) are:

  • Persuade or pressure all of the brands ever using Toothpick Wu as their brand spokesman to break contract with him, and ask him for as much liquidated damages as possible, of course for his shitty public images.

  • Completely eradicate his public reputations (well, this part was already completed, now no one, not even his firmest groupies would like to fuck a shitty man with toothpick penis, 2 minutes sex active time, and a lotta STD, some of them even started to reject men and embrace lesbianism

  • Do meta analysis against Toothpick Wu's team, analyze their personnels, fuck their works up, increase their operating costs, and persecute every fucking one of them until they totally give up helping him, or not.

  • The ultimate target of this stage is to make Toothpick Wu (and his team) bleed, and keep bleeding, until they had no money left, just like what we did to Soviet Union when they're trapped in Afghanistan.

  • But, throwing Toothpick Wu into Chinese prison is NOT our gorl. Otherwise after his serving of ten (or even more) years of prison, how could any one of us remember to persecute him after he's deported into Canada?

Krisganging stage 2

After Toothpick Wu was deported back into Canada, we can finally start the second stage of Krisganging and keep persecuting his pedosexual arse, or anyone who dares to support him even after that:

  • Make propaganda materials in English, and use these Metoo lovers to totally cancel him off and eradicate his public reputations on the Western world, if that thing ever exists, so he could NEVER start his whatever shitty acting career over in North America, as if he did nothing.

  • Write letters to Canadian law enforcements and FBI, so they will start to investigate his pedosexual crimes when he's outside Canada.

    My baseless guess here, is that the probability of him fucking gropies less than China's age of consent is extremely low, it's fucking 13 years old for futabruh's sake, even if his penis is really as small as toothpicks, I don't think he could ever erect when facing a girl less than 13 years old; That's probably why I don't think he could be jailed in China anyway, the best thing we can do is to deport him to Canada. But, the probability of his sexmates' ages falling into 14 to 16 would be 10% and 16 to 18 would be as high as 60% to 80%, both of which might fall into Canada's laws of unteraged sex. And they already revoked exceptions of their citizens commiting crimes outside Canada after certain pedosexual white trashes making child porn shots in Southeast Asia. That basically means if they started to investigate him, Toothpick Wu would definitely ended up in prison.

  • On the other hand, we can also try to do accelerationism persecution on him, like how he could only smoke weed in his empty arse Canadian mansions if we successfully destroy his acting career in North America, even if he had excessive money. And his sex addiction won't just magically disappear, he will end up looking for someone to pimp for him and find some unteraged Canadian and American little girls to satisfy his toothpick penis anyway. And at this time FBI would finally start to investigate him, right?

  • The ultimate goal of the second stage Krisganging is to send him into Canadian or even worse, American prison for his pedosexual activities. The vast numbers of groupies he fucked, would be enough to earn him several life imprisonments without parole. Even if he used some magical ways to escape that, he can't escape being registered as a registered sex offender anyway, and then he could enjoy (oouso) things like GPS positioning for the rest of his life, unable to live near two kilometers of school, and had to live with a bunch of homeless white trashes in trailer park under highway intersections, if we fucked his economies hard enough.

  • And then after covid is over, we can go visit him in his trailer park, make him rant like Hitler, and record it with 4K or 8K camcoders, and when we returned home, we can finally revive Downfall Parodies (convinced

Extended reading (oouso